Trouble
by Cori Lannam
Summary: R/J, S/R SLASH. Remus tries to keep out of trouble with Sirius, but ends up in over his head.


_Trouble_ _by Cori Lannam_  
_(CoriLannam@aol.com)  


* * *

_

"Come on, Moony." A smile was spreading across Sirius' face--the coy, dangerous kind of smile that warned Remus Lupin to go elsewhere fast. Sirius was in a mood, and Sirius Black in a mood was trouble. He looked from Remus to James Potter and bounced on his heels. "Class is over. It's Easter holidays. Time to have some fun." 

"Go on," Remus said. He matched Sirius' smile, but took a step back. "I want to put my books away, then there are a few things I want to look up in the library." 

"That's not fun." Sirius folded his arms and glared from beneath lowered brows, trying to look stern. He took a step forward; Remus took another step backward. Pale eyes glinted with more intensity than a trip to the library warranted. "All right, fine. Go put your books up, and I'll meet you in the library later. If you won't look for fun, fun will find you." 

That was, in fact, just what Remus was afraid of. Sirius put that intensity into everything he did, and Remus had not failed to notice it focusing on him more often than anything else. He loved it. He was terrified. For Remus, Sirius in any mood was trouble. 

He spent his life perfecting a rigid and meticulous control over himself and his surroundings; it was the only way a werewolf could live among humans. And while his friends enjoyed getting his guard to come down, Sirius took too much delight in trying to push him just that one step further. He liked being pushed, and pushing back. He liked the dance. Someday, he or Sirius would take that one more step and close the distance between them. Someday, when Remus' nerves weren't urging an immediate escape from those eyes, from what they offered and what they asked of him. It wouldn't be today. He felt good today, and that was always when he forgot the danger. 

"Not that anyone seems to care, but I'm going back to the Tower as well. And I'm not setting foot in the library until after Easter." James slid an arm around Remus' waist, familiar and easy. "I have Quidditch practice later, anyway." 

Sirius raised his eyebrows, then gave another flash of his teeth. "That's all right. I'll have enough fun for both of us." 

James grinned, turned his head and winked at Remus. "Of course you will. Come on, Remus. Race you." 

* * *

All the windows in Gryffindor Tower stood open. The cool air of early spring filled the dormitory and wafted down the stairwell as Remus jogged up. "Come on, slowpoke!" he yelled down the staircase. He turned to look behind him, just in time to be tackled by his companion. "Ow!" 

"And you're calling me slow?" James teased as Remus wiggled out of his grasp, dodged him again and dashed into their dormitory. "Geez, for a werewolf, you're more like a rabbit on fizz powder." 

Remus laughed as he dropped his bookbag on the floor and flopped down onto his bed. "Can I help it if I'm feeling good for once?" 

James grinned as he came to a stop in front of him, dropping his own bag next to Remus'. He looked Remus up and down with fond approval. "You're looking good, too." 

"Best I've felt all month," he said. A cheerful giddiness spread through him as he stretched and let the fresh, grass-scented air fill his lungs. He swung upright again as James sat down next to him. 

"You know," James said, slowly, as though testing something. Light from the windows glinted off his glasses, but Remus could still see the gleam in his eyes. Something inside Remus fluttered at the warm, familiar look. "I meant it. You look wonderful. Beautiful as the weather outside." 

He couldn't stop himself from laughing at the sweet, but ridiculous compliment. James did not seem to take offense. He just smiled and reached out to touch Remus' hair. "Okay, so I'm not a poet. But I do think I'd rather be in here with you, even more than out in the sunshine." 

"Good," Remus said, because he was feeling particularly inclined to be here with James himself. Then he lost his chance to say so out loud as James kissed him. 

He was startled at first, but James' mouth was soft and gentle, and the only thing to do was kiss him back. It felt nice, better than kissing had ever felt before, with none of the usual first kiss awkwardness he hated. James was focused entirely on him, and Remus felt it in every movement of their lips. Then he felt James' hand on his waist; he allowed his own hands to start wandering, and James' breath hitched with appreciation. 

Finally, James drew back, face flushed and eyes sparkling with the energy that Remus could feel building between them. "Have you ever done this before? With a boy?" 

"No." Remus shook his head. And only once with a girl, which James already knew, just as Remus was fairly sure that the count was only slightly higher on James' end. "Do you think my education is lacking?" 

"Oh, in a serious way. And mine is, too." James grinned, then his expression sobered a little as he leaned forward to kiss him again. His lips grazed over Remus' mouth, then ghosted along his cheek until James' breath warmed Remus' ear as James spoke. "Do you want to? For fun? Just as friends?" 

He grinned back and ran his hands down James' chest. His body and thoughts buzzed with the thrill of the forbidden--and at the same time, the exquisitely safe. He thought about this, constantly, though not with James. But he could do this with James. Easy, trusted, comfortable James. "Yes, I do want to," he answered, and eased them both back onto the bed. 

Their clothes came off more easily than he expected, and James was every bit as hard and soft and mesmerizing as he could have hoped for. And he was looking at Remus with equal approval; his gaze held only tenderness, and none of the half-horrified intrigue Trudy Heathcoate had bestowed on his too-thin body with its lattice of silver scars. When James touched him, it was one of the best things he had ever felt--better than Trudy, almost as good as running under the stars and moon with his Padfoot. 

Sirius. The only person he loved more than James. His stomach jumped at the thought of what it would be like if it were Sirius here with him instead. It twisted at the thought of how Sirius might react if he knew what Remus was doing now, and with whom. Would it be worse if he were furious, or indifferent? 

Then James' tongue was sliding over his collarbone, not letting him think about Sirius, or anything else. He groaned, and pulled James under the covers. 

They made love there in Remus' bed, eagerness and affection making up for any imperfections in skill. When he came, he laughed into James' mouth, prompting his friend to kiss him harder. Then James started shaking in his arms, caught up in his own release. They both went limp when they were finished, and James slumped into the crook of Remus' shoulder, still panting. 

"You're just... gorgeous like this," Remus said with a touch of awe, after he caught his breath. 

James tilted his head enough to laugh up at him. "You should talk. I think I howled louder than, well, you." 

Remus smiled and let his fingers play through James' dark, touseled hair. "Actually, you barely made a sound. It was quite sexy." 

"Was it? I'll remember that." 

"Don't you have Quidditch practice?" 

"Not until later. It's a night practice. Max wants to start training in the dark, in case we have any more matches that run as long as last week's did." 

"What you need is a decent Seeker." 

James' hand moved up and down Remus' side from hip to shoulder, alternating long and short strokes. "You don't have to convince me. But it's all right. It means I'm in no hurry now." 

Remus smiled, and his fingers dug deeper into James' damp hair. The sated relaxation in his body was giving way to a renewed tension. "Oh, good," he said. 

"Moony! Prongs!" The voice registered before the sound of the door banging open. Sirius Black whirled into the room at full blast, and Remus futilely tried to shove James down under the covers and out of sight. "You won't believe what I just saw in the library. Posey Danzig and--" 

And then it was too late to hide. Sirius stared at them, slack-jawed and bug-eyed, as still as if they had struck him with a petrifying curse. James struggled out from under Remus' grip and held out a hand in supplication. "No, Sirius, wait--" 

"I guess you're the one who had fun after all. Huh, Jamie?" Sirius' face twisted with pain, and his eyes were wild with hurt as he met Remus' gaze. Then he turned and sprinted from the room. The door slammed shut behind him; it shuddered in its frame, reverberating with Remus' hoarse breathing. 

"Oh my God," James said and buried his face in his hands with a groan. "Oh, God, what did I do?" 

Remus stared at him, bewildered and horrified. "Oh, God. You and Sirius--I had no idea." 

"No!" James jerked upright, almost shouting. "Not me and Sirius. You and Sirius." 

He kept staring, sinking deeper into confusion. "But... there is no me and Sirius." 

"I know." James clutched at his hair with one hand. "And now I've bollocksed everything up." He straightened up and shook his head as he always did when clearing his thoughts. Then he gave Remus an abrupt kiss, jumped out of bed and started yanking his clothes on. "Stay here. I've got to go talk to him." 

"Yes," Remus said faintly as James shoved his bare feet into his shoes and ran for the door. "That's a good idea." 

* * *

He still felt shaky an hour later as he stared at his Potions essay, which consisted of two lines crawling across the top of the parchment. The words ran together in a blur, blotted out by his memory of the look of pain on Sirius' face. A look he had put there, when he should have known better. Neither of them had done more than hint at deeper feelings, not ready to cross that line, and Remus had never been sure how deep Sirius' feelings actually ran. But in the meantime there were other lines they did not cross, by instinctive understanding, and Remus had missed this one, badly. 

Peter, sitting across the common room table with his own homework, was looking askance at the wide swathe of blank space beneath Remus' rather pathetic opening sentence. "Is everything all right?" 

No, nothing is particularly all right at the moment, but thank you. "Yes, Peter. I'm fine." 

Peter lifted his eyebrows just enough to show he was unconvinced. "It's almost dinner time. Where are James and Sirius?" 

"Good question," Remus muttered. He avoided his friend's questioning look; Peter had always been more astute than either James or Sirius gave him credit for, but Remus was not in the mood to enlighten him any further. 

Instead, he let the edge of the top piece of parchment roll upwards until he could see the sheet concealed below it. He had activated the Marauders' Map before coming down from the dormitory, and he had been sneaking peeks at it ever since, watching the dots marked *James Potter* and *Sirius Black* careen about the page, narrowly missing each other. Remus had waited for James to realize his mistake and come back for the map, but he hadn't. So Remus watched, and fought the urge to tear off after them. He was just as involved in this as they were, after all, even if neither of them seemed inclined to actually talk to him about it. 

Peter caught him looking, not for the first time. He nodded at the map. "Do you think we should go find them?" 

"I'll go," Remus said, seizing on the excuse. He stood up, shoving his chair backwards and the map into his pocket. "Keep an eye on my books, will you?" 

"Sure." Peter started to sigh, but Remus did not wait for the rest of his answer. He pulled the map out again as he climbed through the Gryffindor portrait hole out into the corridor. Sirius' dot had stopped on the far side of the Quidditch pitch. James seemed to be stopping to search each spectator tower as he circled the field. Remus could almost beat him to Sirius if he ran. 

He didn't, quite, because he had to check the map three times to be sure he had the right tower. Hanging out in the Hufflepuff box didn't seem like Sirius' style. But he had made sure himself that the map never lied, so he ran up the stairs until the sound of familiar voices confirmed he was in the right place. 

"Hufflepuff, Sirius? Why Hufflepuff?" James sounded a little out of breath, and it hid the sound of Remus' soft panting as he stopped in the rear doorway. Neither of the others noticed him standing there. 

"Because there's never anyone here," Sirius replied. He was looking out over the Quidditch pitch, pointedly facing away from James. "They're all too busy off... being Hufflepuffs." 

"Sirius, I'm so sorry." James really did look as sorry as Remus had ever seen him, shifting from foot to foot and looking at Sirius with the same hangdog expression Remus had seen him use on McGonagall when detention became inevitable. 

"You don't owe me any apologies," Sirius said after a pause. "You're both free to do whatever you want with whoever you want. I was just surprised, that's all." 

"I knew how you feel about him, and I should have respected that," James persisted, and Remus felt his stomach sink. 

"No, you don't know how I feel about him." Sirius turned his head just enough to give James a glare out of the corner of his eye. "You don't know everything about me, believe it or not." 

"You love him. You're in love with him." 

Remus sucked in a deep breath and held it as Sirius finally turned around, ducking his head. Sirius hesitated, until Remus thought his lungs would burst. "Yeah," he said at last, keeping his head down to avoid James' gaze. "I suppose you do know everything." 

"I know that this wasn't anything you have to worry about." James extended his arm again, not quite touching Sirius. "It was just for fun, as friends. It wasn't serious. We were just playing." 

The other boy's head snapped up, and he stared directly at James for the first time since Remus had gotten there. "Am I supposed to feel better, then, that it didn't mean anything to you?" He laughed sharply and threw up a hand. "God, James, what do I have to do? I've done everything I know how. I became a bloody Animagus to be with him, for God's sake." 

"So did the rest of us, and you hardly had the worst time of it." Irritation sharpened James' voice, but Sirius didn't seem to notice. 

"And here you come, and it's so easy for you. You probably just said, 'Hey, Remus, fancy a shag?' It was probably just that easy, just like everything else. And it meant nothing to you." Sirius spit out the last few words, then slumped a little, out of steam. 

"I should have thought of what it meant to you," James said quietly. Remus quelled a flash of exasperation. He wasn't a prize to be negotiated for amongst his friends. His friends, who still hadn't even noticed that he was standing right here. "I'm sorry, Padfoot." 

Sirius attempted a smile, which hung lopsidedly for a moment. "Don't mind me, Prongs. I know it's not your fault, or Moony's, either." 

"No, it's not my fault." James gave him a stern look, but smiled. "And you know why?" 

Sirius' mouth quirked a little more. "Because I should have done something about it by now?" 

"Of course because you should have done something about it by now." James stopped smiling, and this time his outstretched hand gripped Sirius' arm hard. "And you'd better do something, because the next person who takes a fancy to Moony isn't going to come and apologize to you afterward." 

"I could lose him." Sirius looked stricken. 

Remus' irritation vanished as he felt his heart drop down through his chest; he didn't need to hear any more. "No, you couldn't," he said, and almost laughed at their identical startled expressions as they swiveled toward him in unison. 

Sirius broke away from James, his gaze locked on Remus. He came toward him, moving around the bleachers as unsteadily as if Remus drew him with a compulsion spell. When he stopped less than arm's length away, all Remus could do was stare back at him. "I'm sorry, Remus," Sirius said at last, voice barely audible. "I didn't behave well." 

"Neither did I. And I'm sorry, too." If Sirius had never done anything about his feelings, neither had Remus, after all. He couldn't be unfaithful to a relationship that didn't exist--except in his hopes and fantasies--but that wasn't easing his guilt. 

James' head popped up over Sirius' shoulder. "Fantastic, we're all sorry, you're talking, and now I have practice. So if you two would just excuse me...." 

He made a move to get past them and out the door, but Sirius ignored him, and so Remus did as well. "Look," Sirius said. "I know I'm overreacting, and you've the right to, er--" Sirius shook his head as though chasing away an unwanted thought. "--play with whoever you want." 

"Indeed I do." Best not to let Sirius forget it, even if Remus didn't feel it himself. "Still--" 

But Sirius soldiered on, determined, ignoring Remus' annoyance at being interrupted. He took another step toward Remus and reached forward until the tips of his fingers brushed like feathers against the sides of Remus' hands. "I can't help it if it hurts a little. I know it's stupid, but I thought if you wanted to fool around with anyone, maybe it'd be me. But, I mean, I'm glad, too. That it was James, I mean. Because it wouldn't be playing for me, Remus." 

The heat in Sirius' eyes and the bare pressure of his fingertips against Remus' hands sent a slow chill crawling up Remus' arms and spine. He knew how passionate Sirius was by nature; that intensity drew Remus with inexorable persuasion. But he had never had it focused on him so directly--so personally. He shook his head slowly, knowing he was breathing too hard and probably blinking too fast. "Sirius...." 

Sirius blinked once and pulled back, breaking the contact of hands and eyes. "God, what's wrong with me?" He shook his head again. "I'm just making a fool out of myself, begging you to jump from James' bed right into mine. God, I'm sorry." 

He was backing off, another step in this dance they had perpetuated for almost as long as they had known each other. Remus stood frozen and grit his teeth. Frustration gnawed at his nerves. He was still afraid; there was no time in his life he could remember not being afraid. But for the first time, the thought of Sirius walking away scared him more than the thought of being with him. "Sirius." 

"I'm just going to go away now. If you have any love left for me at all, please just forget any of this happened." Sirius shouldered past James, but Remus seized hold of his robes and hauled him back. 

"Oh, for pity's sake," he said, surprised to hear the growl in his own voice. "Sometimes trying to talk to you is a waste of time, you know that?" 

And then, before he could lose his nerve, Remus kissed him. Sirius froze, then relaxed. His sigh gusted against Remus' lips, and one arm tightened by degrees around Remus' back until their bodies touched. Remus returned the embrace, a little dazed. 

"Oh, God," came James' voice from behind Sirius shoulder. "You have got to let me out of here." 

They both ignored him. Remus leaned into Sirius, who felt nothing at all like James. Where James was warm, Sirius burned. Where James sheltered, Sirius electrified, and Remus knew he'd had reason to be frightened of this. But he didn't care anymore. 

"I feel like an idiot." Sirius' voice had gone rough by the time they pulled apart--from kisses or embarrassment, or both, Remus wondered. He liked having that effect on Sirius. 

"I feel like a tart," he replied, only half joking. 

The slow grin reassured him that Sirius, at least, was getting his footing back. "At least no one can say you don't have the best taste," he teased. Then he leaned in and caught Remus' mouth again. 

"Please. I'm begging now. Just move a few inches to the left, and I can squeeze by--" James' voice took on a note of urgency. Remus reminded himself to laugh at him later, after Sirius finished melting the bones in Remus' body. 

"Oi, Lupin!" A new, much more feminine voice made them break apart again, and they turned to see Lily Evans, flanked by two of the Gryffindor Chasers, floating on her broom a few feet out from the box. Her practice robes fluttered around her, and she had James' Nimbus gripped in one hand. "Take your boyfriend and go snog somewhere else. We'd like to train without throwing up, thank you." 

Remus had already turned back to stare at Sirius' darkened lips. He had a dim recollection of James mentioning a Quidditch practice, but that wasn't nearly as interesting. "Yeah," he said, stepping back, but catching Sirius' fingers in his. "We should go back. It's past dinner time, and I left Peter in the common room with my books and Potions essay." 

"He'll probably have it finished for you by the time we get there, though he'll never forgive us if we make him miss dinner." Sirius squeezed his fingers and started to back him out the door, then seemed to think for a moment before kissing him one more time, quick and hard. 

"All right, that's it. Lily!" James marched back to the railing and climbed up onto it. "Get me out of here, or I swear I'm jumping. I don't care how far it is to the ground." 

"Hey, Prongs, before you take the leap?" Sirius turned to look at his friend, though without letting go of Remus. 

James swiveled to face them, balancing with natural ease on the edge of the box. "What now?" 

"You might want to consider taking some of your own advice for once. With regard to taking leaps, at least." Grinning, Sirius jerked his chin toward Lily and laughed at the rude gesture James threw him before stepping backward and dropping out of sight. "That was hardly necessary. When did he become the aggrieved party here, anyway?" 

"Aggrieved?" Remus raised his eyebrows as he watched James reappear and soar off, securely on his Nimbus with Lily pacing him on the other side. 

"Well, he did sleep with my boyfriend," Sirius said, as though it were a completely reasonable statement. And in the strange logic of their relationship, it might have been, but Remus still snorted and ducked when Sirius tried to embrace him again. 

"Dinner," he said and steered Sirius out to the staircase. He couldn't control Sirius, but he could still control himself, and Sirius would just have to behave. "Dinner first, relationship sorting later." 

Sirius laughed, a sweeter, giddier sound than his usual harsh bark. "I love you," he said, then kissed Remus' cheek and clattered down the steps ahead of him. 

Remus stood for a moment, hand to the side of his burning face. Then he sighed, dropped his head and followed. He was in trouble. 

END 


End file.
